As I lie alongside you on the bed with my eyes in fixture at the roof, holding your hand to my heart, my heartbeats sound aloud this time, for silence sweeps through within the walls otherwise, lost in no thoughts, just with a gaze at the roof above, i feel relaxed, so much of it infact, realising the not so very placid disposition that I had been holding through a gap of time ,understanding the only thing that had been missing was you and when i have found you back, you yourself can sense the pleasance that seeps through my every pore, and every beat of my heart which always yearned to reach you when you were missing sounds utterly complete with you around, which desired to feel your warmth over with your hand on my heart, thudding , thumping , as it finds your tenderness on its way up , it derives the meaning of its existence, my existence and on its way back, it bids off in solace , summating to my peace.
I so much rest in repose.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
First Kiss..
They planned up to go for a smooth long drive in a car at some evening hours, across Delhi roads, which though are meant to be less occupied at some midnight or early morning hours.
They passed across some busy roads, some free, kidding through some or plainly travelling through.
The weather was not very cold, somewhere around start of December. December in Delhi is not very chilly during its start. She came dressed up in a yellow pullover and he was in a casual buttoned shirt.He had kept his jacket at the back seat. Their dress-up accidentally matched up the mood of the evening or probably later it seemed nice enough , for that night got to be special of its kind, creating a longing in both to have one like it again.
They had been good at giving a gaze at each other, or catch up others unheeded view, playing with their curled hands or warming up others' hair with hands in.
The moments seemed cozily comforting up the couple of hearts , registering themselves in their memories as unforgettable.
They were melted hearts when together.
She held him when jerked.And there was one of it , when he didn't miss on to hold up her hand and kissed it. This was the first time he kissed her. She still carries its warmth. A moment she relives in her thoughts, a moment she still craves for , a moment that left her mute for the way back , for she felt lost with that single touch of his lips, freewheeling into heavens..
She sometimes looks up at her hand to feel the moisture of the first kiss. She in craziness raises her hand upto her lips to feel his and go lost in memories again.
P.S. This entry is a result of the topic given by my friend to write on, to come up with an imaginary narration for the topic. :D
They passed across some busy roads, some free, kidding through some or plainly travelling through.
The weather was not very cold, somewhere around start of December. December in Delhi is not very chilly during its start. She came dressed up in a yellow pullover and he was in a casual buttoned shirt.He had kept his jacket at the back seat. Their dress-up accidentally matched up the mood of the evening or probably later it seemed nice enough , for that night got to be special of its kind, creating a longing in both to have one like it again.
They had been good at giving a gaze at each other, or catch up others unheeded view, playing with their curled hands or warming up others' hair with hands in.
The moments seemed cozily comforting up the couple of hearts , registering themselves in their memories as unforgettable.
They were melted hearts when together.
She held him when jerked.And there was one of it , when he didn't miss on to hold up her hand and kissed it. This was the first time he kissed her. She still carries its warmth. A moment she relives in her thoughts, a moment she still craves for , a moment that left her mute for the way back , for she felt lost with that single touch of his lips, freewheeling into heavens..
She sometimes looks up at her hand to feel the moisture of the first kiss. She in craziness raises her hand upto her lips to feel his and go lost in memories again.
P.S. This entry is a result of the topic given by my friend to write on, to come up with an imaginary narration for the topic. :D
Sunday, February 21, 2010
THE END
Death is unknown , it is realized ,death is mystery , it is a fact, death is forgotten at times, it walks along ,it is recognized, it is overlooked ,it arrives new, it has been so old, it scares , it thrills.
It arrives at a moment and it is there forever.
A thought that I will not witness my death enters me sometimes at some rare moment of a day, and disappoints me. Am I kidding much? I am crazy enough to know how I would seem lying on a death bed, motionless and silent ,so unlike me .
I just wonder how is it after death , I mean where would I go, I have heard of and even have myself read into "Garud Purana " ,a Hindu mythological book which is read after someone's death on some nth day, which 'n' I don't know , that the soul (atma ) leaves the body and flows through this river and that and passes this way and through that , it reaches where, I just couldn't understand and it happens when it is on way to hell. I mean it is really complex for a soul to leave a body and to find its destiny after it , according to the knowledge I had from reading some part of that book .....but i wonder does this soul concept really exist physically. I though understand it spiritually , so thoroughly of it in fact, but I don't know if there is some real concept behind it any physical way.
While I am so sure that I am not going to heavens, I fantasize of my soul drifting away with rivers and grilling in furnaces as per that book.
A little more I know is that one suffers through a great deal of pain when the so called physical soul leaves the body. And I really feel scared to realize this fact and that it would hold true , a day, for me too. Death really scares me at times and it thrills me too right there then. What would be its kind??.. some ailment-struck, accidental, or some terrorist attack. I really want my body to be burnt in one piece and not just few found pieces that got scattered while some bomb explosion at some bakery or electronics market.
One would bet his life to avoid it or even delay it.I don't know why is it in nature of us to exercise such a confounding practice, Why is it so scary to live a fact which we know since we are born, why does it disappoint while moving closer to it.. I mean is it bcoz everybody is practicing such a thought of fear and we too learnt the same?? or do we really love our life this much or does life love us this much that it would be a deal of enormous loss to lose it , or does everybody know the painful process one is bound to deal with while giving up life ?? ..
Talking about it ,things have been complex , things have been plain and straight, yet most of them stay unanswered to me and I guess, to many, but fact is that my experience with it even wont bring up any answers.
It arrives at a moment and it is there forever.
A thought that I will not witness my death enters me sometimes at some rare moment of a day, and disappoints me. Am I kidding much? I am crazy enough to know how I would seem lying on a death bed, motionless and silent ,so unlike me .
I just wonder how is it after death , I mean where would I go, I have heard of and even have myself read into "Garud Purana " ,a Hindu mythological book which is read after someone's death on some nth day, which 'n' I don't know , that the soul (atma ) leaves the body and flows through this river and that and passes this way and through that , it reaches where, I just couldn't understand and it happens when it is on way to hell. I mean it is really complex for a soul to leave a body and to find its destiny after it , according to the knowledge I had from reading some part of that book .....but i wonder does this soul concept really exist physically. I though understand it spiritually , so thoroughly of it in fact, but I don't know if there is some real concept behind it any physical way.
While I am so sure that I am not going to heavens, I fantasize of my soul drifting away with rivers and grilling in furnaces as per that book.
A little more I know is that one suffers through a great deal of pain when the so called physical soul leaves the body. And I really feel scared to realize this fact and that it would hold true , a day, for me too. Death really scares me at times and it thrills me too right there then. What would be its kind??.. some ailment-struck, accidental, or some terrorist attack. I really want my body to be burnt in one piece and not just few found pieces that got scattered while some bomb explosion at some bakery or electronics market.
One would bet his life to avoid it or even delay it.I don't know why is it in nature of us to exercise such a confounding practice, Why is it so scary to live a fact which we know since we are born, why does it disappoint while moving closer to it.. I mean is it bcoz everybody is practicing such a thought of fear and we too learnt the same?? or do we really love our life this much or does life love us this much that it would be a deal of enormous loss to lose it , or does everybody know the painful process one is bound to deal with while giving up life ?? ..
Talking about it ,things have been complex , things have been plain and straight, yet most of them stay unanswered to me and I guess, to many, but fact is that my experience with it even wont bring up any answers.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Paraphrasing ..
I had been watching an oldie 'To kill a mocking bird' few days back, a movie based on a novel by Harper Lee with same name. There is this lawyer in this movie Atticus Finch , a widower and his two children Scout and Jem. Set out in 1930's, this movie talks about racial discrimination that was prevalent amongst whites and blacks. Also does it display a lot more nice things. My this blog entry is not at all meant to give any review on the film or the novel. Be safe.
Now I have just been wondering watching it that these two kids of this lawyer call him by his name only, 'Atticus'. To these kids, their father means their world, they stand by him, they look up to him, they are happy to have him around, they respect him, listen to him, do everything what a father-child relationship ideally might ask for.and at times they would do more than that. And he too doesn't enforce things, would rather justify, would be a listener to his kids, would be protective, would do the rightest to teach them truth. But they would call him only 'Atticus'.
It sounded strange to me thinking calling my dad or momma by their names. But what if I weren't taught the usual way of calling them mamma and papa, I would probably have still shown the same respect and love in return of theirs.But I said 'in return'. Love comes from love, respect from respect. Respect and love doesn't come with titles, neither it goes away calling someone's names. It comes with heart. It never comes one-sided even.
Another thing that I perceived thinking all this is the power of word 'You'. We in Hindi use tu, tum, aap to show an order of respect. While its not sure even that when we call somebody aap we really do respect him or not. So we go hypocrites in expressions. But then this word 'You' prevents displaying such phoneyness.
I don't mean to say that flaw lies with my language of origin to have provision of such words which help inhibition for convenience. Neither I intend to break out saying English is the only language of unfeigned expressions.
I just mean that respect comes from heart only. And is phrased in words. But if we end up being impostors, we are just paraphrasing our emotions with some more respectful words. And that's it.
Now I have just been wondering watching it that these two kids of this lawyer call him by his name only, 'Atticus'. To these kids, their father means their world, they stand by him, they look up to him, they are happy to have him around, they respect him, listen to him, do everything what a father-child relationship ideally might ask for.and at times they would do more than that. And he too doesn't enforce things, would rather justify, would be a listener to his kids, would be protective, would do the rightest to teach them truth. But they would call him only 'Atticus'.
It sounded strange to me thinking calling my dad or momma by their names. But what if I weren't taught the usual way of calling them mamma and papa, I would probably have still shown the same respect and love in return of theirs.But I said 'in return'. Love comes from love, respect from respect. Respect and love doesn't come with titles, neither it goes away calling someone's names. It comes with heart. It never comes one-sided even.
Another thing that I perceived thinking all this is the power of word 'You'. We in Hindi use tu, tum, aap to show an order of respect. While its not sure even that when we call somebody aap we really do respect him or not. So we go hypocrites in expressions. But then this word 'You' prevents displaying such phoneyness.
I don't mean to say that flaw lies with my language of origin to have provision of such words which help inhibition for convenience. Neither I intend to break out saying English is the only language of unfeigned expressions.
I just mean that respect comes from heart only. And is phrased in words. But if we end up being impostors, we are just paraphrasing our emotions with some more respectful words. And that's it.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Nomothetically .. !!
At times it seems like I am standing a few floors above the ground and observing people moving in rush, some laughing, some indulged in serious talks, some lonesome, some enthusiastic , all of them portraying a character that appears as a new color in the color palette with varying degrees of hue, saturation and brightness. And I am left wondered. Wondered over human nature and behavior. A million variant display is always wonderful and astonishing.
With unexpected variances, with undefined ranges and extremities, each one of them represents an almost one complete world in itself, each one of them so much and almost entirely different from the other, that I think of God as one true artist who never stops experimenting and throwing a challenge at Himself of creating another pure art which is not even (+/-)zero% similar to his already existing ones. Crikey !!!.
Everybody around me has always intrigued me for reasons not encountered within me before. I find each of my friends, each of the relations that I share with beings on this earth completely different from other. Each of them would give a new feel unmatched with any other. Its like there is one complete world inside everybody, which has its own mortality and immortality, which defines his world around, which gives reasons to him to perceive, its just one complete self in him.
And I don't know why on the grounds of some senses in me that say 'one world in everybody' do I have it in me of justifying everyone, at my heart, for doing or thinking whatsoever? for probably that is what they are supposed to do or be like or think like as they are exhibiting a complete different world of being.
For one might be estranged to know that I really don't mind justifying at moments someone like a rapist, a murderer, a smuggler or one who smokes up or many such ones probably. While I really condemn rape, murder, smuggle and smoke-up.
I don't know if it is seeming to you that I am creating a null thought effect by just contradicting my own words. Am I really doing so ?? I really don't know an answer to that. Its how I felt saying like.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Just another such story ..
This story lies in the fathoms of two young hearts which took a span of life together for some golden moments and then they lived rest of life separated , not forced much by the world though, but by their choice. They were brave than broken, or probably the vice-versa.
Their togetherness defined a world that they thought of as the only world they know , they wanted to know.
Lushy breezes, falling sky, echoing laughters, they lived it all. Clasping hands together, brushing fingers through each other's hair, looking straight and deep into the eyes, becharming silence enlightened by their deep breaths only, succumbing to the power of other's soul that attracted with all its might, they were stormed away till the destiny made them walk back to back, away, far away.
No tears, no pains, they walked from each other and never stopped to look back into the direction they knew they must have moved into, with someone accompanying through a way of different destiny, a way of their just another choice,
Yes they were in Love.
Their togetherness defined a world that they thought of as the only world they know , they wanted to know.
Lushy breezes, falling sky, echoing laughters, they lived it all. Clasping hands together, brushing fingers through each other's hair, looking straight and deep into the eyes, becharming silence enlightened by their deep breaths only, succumbing to the power of other's soul that attracted with all its might, they were stormed away till the destiny made them walk back to back, away, far away.
No tears, no pains, they walked from each other and never stopped to look back into the direction they knew they must have moved into, with someone accompanying through a way of different destiny, a way of their just another choice,
Yes they were in Love.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
#if defined CRAZINESS
She : listen
He: yea..
She: Still online??
He: watching football..
She : ok
She : i love u
She : a lot actually
He : i know that
She : i really go crazy widout u
n i run around
try to escape
from the craziness
bt then i fall into it back again
and i know i will hav to fall into u even before i attempt a way for escape
i know it alwez
bt js coz a feel of 'widout u' drives me crazy,i keep running
bt i dont like running
i knw this as well
i dont like escaping from u n craziness for u
i really go unbalanced
i would phone up the whole world to find peace
bt i dont get
n i run like crazy in my mind
He: Hey .. i know baby
She: but of no use
i get no peace
nobody can please me out
whosoever it be
n i hate trying to please myself out n appease myself out
calling up the whole world ..
i hate myself then
i feel a sense of guilt
n shame
for i mst rather choose up to die crying for u
than finding peace from anybody other than you
He : plz be silent ..
She: n i go so weak, not doing it
i lose all my strength
n i just run
escaping from u
esacaping from myself
but there is one thing i tell myself
i just didnt like it
i just didnt want to do it, i js dont want to do it
m so weak that i do all such
i hate being weak
He: now plz stop it
She: i just dont hate anything or anybdy other than myself
coz i know i m one crazy psycho who can choke herself upto death wid all such craziness
n i know i would end up doing this to myself
He: yea..
She: Still online??
He: watching football..
She : ok
She : i love u
She : a lot actually
He : i know that
She : i really go crazy widout u
n i run around
try to escape
from the craziness
bt then i fall into it back again
and i know i will hav to fall into u even before i attempt a way for escape
i know it alwez
bt js coz a feel of 'widout u' drives me crazy,i keep running
bt i dont like running
i knw this as well
i dont like escaping from u n craziness for u
i really go unbalanced
i would phone up the whole world to find peace
bt i dont get
n i run like crazy in my mind
He: Hey .. i know baby
She: but of no use
i get no peace
nobody can please me out
whosoever it be
n i hate trying to please myself out n appease myself out
calling up the whole world ..
i hate myself then
i feel a sense of guilt
n shame
for i mst rather choose up to die crying for u
than finding peace from anybody other than you
He : plz be silent ..
She: n i go so weak, not doing it
i lose all my strength
n i just run
escaping from u
esacaping from myself
but there is one thing i tell myself
i just didnt like it
i just didnt want to do it, i js dont want to do it
m so weak that i do all such
i hate being weak
He: now plz stop it
She: i just dont hate anything or anybdy other than myself
coz i know i m one crazy psycho who can choke herself upto death wid all such craziness
n i know i would end up doing this to myself
#endif
Friday, February 5, 2010
Justifying the purpose ..
First thing that I want to do is explain why the name of my blog is "talking pink floyd". By the name I am sure you would have realised that I am one of those huge fans of Pink Floyd who is sad to realise the fact that only 3 of those magicians are left and who is happy to keep the rest of them alive at heart..Like many, I too have alwez felt like more soulful with their music and songs .. have alwez felt that their music almost awakes up something in me that makes me meet myself , like another end of mine that was being missed on, a melancholy, a feeling of departure from myself and yet a realisation in completion of being myself. and this is what I intend to do with my thoughts and words for them ... drive from one end of myself to another untouched end .. explore too much of me ... till I exhaust either exploring or till nothing is left to be explored .. things go lunatically in me ... I am moonstruck ... Thus the name ...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
First One!!
Hi!! Firstly to my first blog. A warm one.. Now to the one who is you .. :) Hiii :) I really love talking.I really love thinking..I always feel like penning down my thoughts ..for myself and sometimes want them to reach others as well..I am just starting with this blog believing I would be able to come up with some nice words to my daily whirling thoughts, also as a way to know more of myself, also for the people who want to know me may understand a little more clear... i wanna think loud .. :D
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